You secretly wish that those poems, those stories, and their dreams and desires are about you, but you know deep down that you’re not really the slightest bit on their mind at all. Instead they’re for someone else, and you feel your heart turn into a pit.
“Stop acting like you are the best of the best. Just because you are constantly surrounded with people who have that title doesn’t mean that you have it as well. It could be that you just barely got lucky.”
So today I found out that my ‘friend’ who I had lunch with made this post about me in January because his ex-boyfriend told me. Apparently, this friend thought that I was bragging about going to NYU, living in New York, and that I was acting like I’m elite for going there. First off, I think I’m entitled to say that I love my school because NYU has taught me so many things about the world and the people in it. If I decided to stay in state and if the school taught me just as much, I would say that I love the school just as much. I don’t care about the name of the school; I care about what the school has taught me. Secondly, the reason why I post things about New York is because I LIVE IN FUCKING NEW YORK. Sorry that I post things about where I live just like how you post about how much you hate where you live. Don’t be upset that I enjoy where I live and don’t post things that are a pity story. Finally, I don’t act elite. I know where I stand in the world and I know that I’m not the best at a lot of things (NYU definitely proved that to me). But what I do know is that I worked hard to get where I am at. I live in a city where people become ecstatic when kids graduate from high school. I didn’t have any expectation to go to school outside of the state, let alone the city, or go to a university that has been looked at to be ‘good’. Instead, I had to motivate myself to do the applications without the help of advisors, study hard without cram schools to do well on my exams, reread my own college essays, and prove to schools that I am worthwhile even though I wasn’t the best applicant. I worked hard to allow myself to get out of this city and pick a life I would enjoy, so yes I am proud to say that I am a hard worker and that I am proud of what I have done. I didn’t simply get in because I was just lucky. I got in because I worked for it instead of just sitting around and complaining about this city like you do. If you are upset at that fact that I worked hard to get where I am while you didn’t even try hard enough to maintain a 2.5 gpa to get the lottery scholarship at our city’s college, then what you say is invalid. Hell, you got a 19 on the ACT even when you studied for it. You can think what you want, but I know where I stand in comparison to you—in academics and personality. If you think I have some problems, you should check yourself first. You’re the person who cheated on your boyfriend with guys on grindr and took out a loan for fancy ass clothes that you don’t need. In fact, I’m rather surprised you would dare say that I can’t afford NYU (even though I have scholarships that pay for it and my parents saved up), when you have pay to go to a school that usually pays full tuition to instate students and take out loans for clothes instead of paying for your damn tuition.
So yeah, if I do see you again ‘friend’ I’ll say hi to you, I’ll be a friend to you, but I will let you know that I acknowledge the fact I’m not the best of the best but at least I am way better than you will ever be.
Can’t wait to start shadowing soon. I’ll be shadowing two pathologists (I really am interested in pathology and might want to specialize in it) who seems interesting, kind, attended UCSF (seriously would love to go there for med school) and Duke, and would be such prime letters of rec. I was warned that I need to keep a strong stomach because I’ll be seeing severed human legs and arms being cut off for tissue samples and several of students have passed out before. Hopefully it doesn’t happen to me!
In addition, I’ll also be observing the medical lab and seeing how they perform blood tests and urinalysis, shadowing a doctor who practices in a rural clinic for a full day or two, and have registered to take my psychology course at my city’s university (got to relearn psych and sociology for the new MCAT).
I’m pretty excited for all of this. I’m hoping I can do just as much next year, but in New York. I’m planning on trying to find an internship at a pharmaceutical or health care related company to see if I really want to look into an MD/MBA program while also shadowing a few different doctors to see what I might like to do/do research.
Regardless, I’m a happy guy right now.